The Good Spider

'Drink more water. Take less drugs. Get more sleep. Only some people are crazy. You will be ok.'

Hardly, if ever, true. Everyone is crazy all the time. They never stop. Look. The process of growing up entails many deaths - that is to say, you don't mature, you're merely cut down to size. Your soul is taken and molded and whittled. It used to be big. Pointy. It had bits. Now it's a delicate little thing, and utterly bland. I'm terrified of spiders, but I imagine that there must be a good one somewhere. It sits over a gigantic pool of water. A huntsman as big as a truck. Huntsman, the way they move, you know, so fast - it scares people, makes them jump, but the Good Spider is perfectly serene. It just sits over a pool of water, eyes gazing out into the forest where I imagine that this must take place. To find the Good Spider is very hard, but trust me, the journey is worth your time. We only think of knowledge as an abstract concept because we were born with the wrong kind of eyes. The Good Spider has eight eyes that can see knowledge like dust moving through the wind. It can tell you anything, so be careful what you ask; the Good Spider is very old, and you weren't meant to die so many times.