"You don't actually propose to wear this fucking hideous garment do you?' he says, reaching out across thousands of light years and plucking it from my head, pedantic motherfucker that he was.

"I propose that I can wear whatever hat I fucking well choose to wear and furthermore that you're an asshole" I respond, snatching it back and storming from the building into the streets. That was the end of Act One, I have not seen my father for thirty seven million years since and have no intention to neither.